Submitted and Written by GM Robert Dunn
When does the “bonding” first begin in a student’s Martial Arts life? Does it happen when the Instructor stimulates the student’s interest, creativity or comprehensiveness in the Martial Arts? Is it when the Instructor instills the motivation and drive in a student? Maybe it happens when the Instructor uses some of the training aids to explain the purpose and mechanics of a particular technique? Perhaps, it starts to develop with trust while developing the Student/Instructor relationship… I have listed a few examples for you to examine and consider the “how” and “why” students bond in the Martial Arts:
Discipline/Respect
The disciplined nature of martial art teachings promotes a deep sense of self-discipline. One can’t become a genuine black belt immediately, and so students are taught that their goals will require hard work, patience, and dedication, which should be expected to last several years, if not life. It is clear that if something is worth it, then you should work hard for it. Part of being a martial arts student is meeting new people and developing unique bonds with training partners.
Martial arts training teaches students control and concentration through discipline. In order to perform techniques correctly, students must focus intently on their task at hand. The added self-confidence and concentration gained through training can even help kids with different learning disorders. Discipline is all about doing what you need to do, even when you don’t want to do it. The martial arts instills such discipline by showing the rewards for the hard work and doing those extra few steps, like pushing yourself a bit further.
A martial artist often feels a strong sense of camaraderie or friendship with their fellow students. This feeling is based on mutual experiences and conquering the challenges that they meet together. Learning the martial arts is a privilege and students should show humbleness, patience, and honesty to themselves, their opponents, and their instructors. Martial arts training builds self-esteem by providing challenges that helps to build character. Students learn that
they can overcome the obstacles presented as they improve in their training. When challenges are met and surpassed, students feel a rush of pride in themselves and their newly learned skills. This pride and confidence enables them to interact better with others and to respond better to situations that involve conflict.
In spite of the routine, almost all martial arts styles teach students to value age, rank, expertise, and experience. Showing respect shows that you are worthy of their teaching and willing to accept their knowledge. This respect for instructors and fellow students can often carry over to the workplace or academic classroom settings, where pupils use their comprehension abilities to advance their productivity and education.
The Student/Instructor Relationship
The teacher can be seen as further down the road the student is traveling. He has experienced the obstacles in the road. He also has likely been observant enough to see the obstacles that others have hit that he may have avoided. It all gets tucked away and with it all comes the ability to lead others the best way he knows how. But that doesn’t mean he’ll make it easy.
Ultimately, the teacher can offer his knowledge but the student must choose and discover for him or herself what it is they feel, and believe, is right. Personal experience is what results in true wisdom, not intellectual speculation. A teacher must be the example of a great student. By being a great student he can have great students. He learns from his students on one level, while his students learn from him on another. The true martial artist is always working on his consciousness. The teacher is responsible for what is taught; the student is responsible for what is learned. There are no bad students, just bad instruction. Thing is, people in our society are used to being spoon fed and are in such a hurry to “finish” something and move on to something else. This doesn’t work to acquire real skill, especially the kind that permeates every level of a person – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Communication
The bonding of a student-teacher relationship must be based on honesty, loyalty, and trust. The student must be able to come to their teacher and openly and honestly admit their feelings and their thoughts. This can be very difficult for some people. They don’t like to share their feelings. But this is where the teacher must excel if he is to help his students grow on every level. The student who pretends nothing is wrong when there is, defeats himself. He or she may not realize that what they are thinking is very common. They may not realize that the teacher has experienced the same challenge when they were coming up. A Black Belt is someone that never gave up…
Coachable
The Instructor always has the students’ best interest at heart. If you are an apprentice learning from a master carpenter, should you be making suggestions about how to make a staircase, or should you just be quiet and do it as he tells you to? When the Instructor makes a correction, does it make sense to argue or make excuses? This only wastes time, trying to validate your ego. There really is only one kind of response, “Yes, Sir!” or, “Thank you, Sir!” Perhaps, having faith and trust in your teacher allows you to follow the instruction, even when you don’t fully understand, accepting that the teacher just might know something that you don’t.
The teacher will not always give you the answer you’re hoping for. Sometimes he will point out something that is painful to hear. But all of this is to help you grow – not only as a martial artist, but personally. The Master Instructor’s teaching methods in many ways are “hidden”. By that I mean the student frequently doesn’t even realize he or she is being taught, and observed. What may appear to be a mistake, a change, or even seem to have a lack of reason, may be by design… The teacher may even appear to not know something just so the student tries harder to figure it out on their own… A Master Instructor teaches even when the student doesn’t realize he’s being taught. The student might even think he or she is teaching the teacher something, though it is actually all by the Master Instructor’s design…
Attitude
From the standpoint of the teacher, and more importantly from the standpoint of the student, our attitude toward our practice and what we expect to get out of martial arts training is very important. A student with only average physical ability may develop quite successfully in his training through a healthy attitude toward his practice. A student who seems to have all the advantages to becoming a skillful martial artist may fall flat on his face simply because he has a bad attitude. We should really think about this carefully. Sincere effort over time is what makes you a real student. The teacher can only do so much. The amount of time available for practice is not the same for everybody. The key is to do what you can and do as well as you can do
it. It is not what you do but how you do it. You develop the habit of mindfulness in your approach to everything you do and that results in a profound impact in your everyday life. Every moment, we can practice. A poor attitude, thinking you are better, or worse, than others, is just your ego talking – and holding you back. How you train, is how you re-act…
Mentoring Programs
There a host of programs that are designed to meet the needs of a specific program, as well as developing the bond between students and student/Instructor. For example: You may wish to develop a “Mighty Tigers” program for students that are 4-6 years old. This program could be
designed to meet the needs of today’s active child. Some of the skills this program may focus on is balance, motor-skills, coordination, discipline, self control and attention span.
Another example may be a “Juniors” program for students that are 6-12 years old. This program could be designed to blend the traditional values of the Martial Arts (Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self Control and Indomitable Spirit) with the technical and physical part of the Martial Arts. They start to learn that “sweat plus sacrifice equals success”. An introduction to some of the various Martial Arts “games” allows them to have fun while they are learning the physical part of the Martial Arts, teaching them the value of “team work”.
Teens and Adults may have a program that provides both the mental and physical side of the Martial Arts. This kind of program focuses on strong bodies and minds. Recreational training to stay in shape and the spirit of competition start to take on a new meaning. Commitment now becomes the focus for those that are serious. Black Belt Clubs/Leadership Clubs are just a couple of vehicles that will bond students together. Commitment is now a priority and part of the plan to obtaining a specific goal. Responsibility becomes a requirement and leadership roles are established to go to the next level. Learning how to mentor students is a priority on the journey to become a Black Belt.
Family classes are designed to bond the family together. “A family that kicks together, stays together” becomes the slogan. Activities may be planned to enhance the atmosphere you are striving to achieve. The reasons to attend class as a family become clear as the family unit is involved in a physical activity that helps them to stay healthy in life by encouraging fitness. The exercise to retain flexibility and develop discipline is essential to a healthy life. The regiment of a structured Martial Arts class achieves a sense of accomplishment and develops social interaction in life.Nurturing the Bonding Process The student-teacher bonding is an important part of a school culture. If positive relationship exists, it benefits students in many ways. Students who are strongly connected to their teachers feel confident to articulate their doubts and questions freely. So, if a student develops a unique bond with his teacher; it lends new meaning and shape to his/her life.
Learning is spontaneous and inquisitive for children; only a teacher has a latent ability to make a subject more interesting for students. For teachers it is not less than a Herculean task to keep their energy levels up round the clock in the class and draw even those students who do not want to learn or study. A good teacher-student relationship consists of good quality interactions, mutual respect and existence of a harmonious bond in the class.
One of the cardinal rules of teaching is that every teacher must believe in the student’s potential. Students will not believe in you until you first believe in them and in what you’re teaching them. Not every child in the class is equally receptive and intelligent, knowing this fact; a teacher must try his best in boosting up the student’s confidence levels. For a teacher it is a challenge, to raise the academic and physical standards of a child whom others have written off as being un-teachable; this is indeed a true achievement for any teacher.
A teacher impacts student’s life in many ways, as a teacher you not only impart basic skills and education but also imparts ‘life-skills’- that student carries beyond your class. Perhaps, in order to develop the bonding process, the Instructor should ask himself a few questions: Are they a student or a customer? The student of martial arts follows the teacher and has faith in the process, even when he doesn’t quite understand. The customer of martial arts behaves like they are making a purchase, as with any commodity, and may even try to direct the teacher. Regardless of what they get, with this attitude, they leave empty-handed.
The Role of the Senior Student
This is where senior students have to step up and become a part of the mentoring process. Every student’s responsibility is to maintain this special environment, and to be a role model for the student who is their junior. New students coming in have nothing to compare it to. There’s no one to follow except the senior students. It is the senior students that must make sure the right environment is maintained so that their juniors can develop the right attitude toward their practice. A strong, focused environment can greatly affect even the weakest, most distracted person, if that person stays in the environment long enough. Remember: Environment is stronger than will. Who and what you spend time with greatly determines what you experience in your life and who you become. Friendly, but not friends. Getting too friendly with the Instructor, such as being on a first name basis where the student becomes overly casual with the Instructor affects the development of the student. It is important that the student maintains a certain level of seriousness, respect, and even reverence for the practice, the environment at the school, and the Instructor. This makes it much easier to stay focused on the task. Socializing with students may make it difficult for the Instructor to treat them in an impartial way. Students are sometimes offended when a teacher’s uncompromising attitude toward them in the training room seems at odds with the friendlier and more laid-back attitude they may enjoy socially.If fighting was the only focus of training, then the common problems that occur between the student and
Instructor becoming “friends” are less of a concern. However, where the mental and physical development of the student is stressed, there is much more at stake. Crossing the line. There exists an imaginary line between the student and Instructor. Once the student or Instructor crosses the line it becomes more difficult to learn objectively. In the end, if the Instructor’s main interest is the student’s growth, it is very important not to get personal. If the student’s main interest is to learn from their Instructor, they will not want to create a situation that would jeopardizing this.
Observations
There are many elements to the “Bonding” process in the Martial Arts. What causes people with different backgrounds, ideology, social standings, etc to bond together as life-long friends? Is it the training atmosphere? Is it the wisdom and experience of the Instructor? Is it the experiences, challenges and accomplishments that people share? “Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees.” – Douglas
Malloch. Perhaps, it is the combination of the many attributes of the Martial Arts. It seems to me that the experiences, challenges and accomplishments we experience in training become more important if we share them with our peers and mentors in training. Many times, long after the student becomes the Grandmaster he/she stills holds their Grandmaster in high esteem. In many cases, the student that becomes the Grandmaster often is a care-giver to his Grandmaster that is now grown old in years. I have also noticed; the student seems grateful and humbled by the sacrifices and devotion of his Grandmaster. Because of the student/Instructor bonding process, it seems the higher rank we achieve the more we appreciate our Grandmaster.
